Do you want to see my monkey?

Yes, I was asked this question as a phone was flashed in my face. Heavens to Betsy, if it hadn't been a picture of an actual monkey I might have decked the guy.

Eight boys and fourteen twelve girls ventured forth in five-minute conversations filled with inane details and snap judgment based on physical presence, vocal intonations and eye contact.

Logic:
"I don't want to be first!"
"We're all going to be first."

I was mostly impressed with all the boyz abilities to converse except for one (read: monkey lover). But other than that, the Hollywood movies over-glamoratization of speed dating was just that and unrealistic.

The time moved quickly and each five-minute "date" was supposed to help you establish a connection with the person sitting across from you. Now, I'm good with conversation; I can talk to a wall. I was able to ask questions and keep a running report with each date and, I have to say, most of the boys were good at that too. They asked me a question, got an answer, I said, "Et tois?" [I didn't really, I said "And you?"] and they answered in turn. Except for one, they didn't speak over me and I tried not to speak over them unless I had a gem of a joke to share and they absolutely had to hear it or their life wouldn't be the same.

The card and pens they gave us were not conducive to note-taking, merely notching (see below), so I devised a strategic solution...

Classy picture taken courtesy of Judea and Vicky  utilizing an iPhone and an Android Flashlight app. Success!

My notes. Mostly legible. Let's do a breakdown, shall we?

Grant: An Engineer working in Oil & Gas originally born in Cambodia who loves his family and could never move far from them. Nice guy though the pseudo-vapid pauses and zoned-out eyes were distracting occasionally.

Erick: An Engineer working in, you guessed it, Oil & Gas, that only comes to the Galleria when he needs to buy jeans. Lisp included. This chick doesn't play metro.

Nick: A lawyer, nice change of pace, from UT, with furtive eyes and an intensity that struck a strange chord with me. Next...

Joey: His cologne preceeded his taking a seat in front of me and I moved back an inch. Calm, slightly cocky and arrogant, but willing to have a fun conversation involving his future life as a rap artist wearing a do'rag. His future life is that of a Registered Nurse.

Michael: A real-life nearly life-size Leprechaun sat hisself down right in front of me! Adorable, pretty Irish eyes, a slight ginger twist to his coloring and daywalking tendencies of burning under the sun. He was funny and the rolled sleeves of his workshirt were enticing with nice forearms peeking through. Another lawyer, who said that my friend, Catherine (who was next to me), had dragged her there and I immediately scoffed and looked at her, her face of innocence looking back. "We're having words later."

Cory: Survey says: Engineer! Originally from Ohio and a newly transplanted Texan. He was kind and goofy and nerdy and definitely awkward. He hung around afterwards as my friend and I chowed down on semi-tasty pizza while chatting up the Bartender.

John: My monkey friend that looked like a tool and that he would fit better swaying slightly side to side at a House/Trance concert. Oh, you're a physician? Dealing with dermatological cancer? ....and people take you seriously?

Scott: Solid finish to the night with a Geophysicist working for...Oil & Gas. He was the most relaxed of dressers and we talked about his love of NOLA, his origination in Kansas and our enjoyment of crawfish boils. The boy loves crawfish boils. Skinny, dark hair and light eyes, the kid was blessed. He was somewhat awkward but I got him to laugh with a comment regarding a dislike for sucking heads. Of crawfish. Solid finish, indeed.

My top 5: Leprechaun, Ohio, Crawfish, Doesn't Matter, Who Cares

And I gots none of them! Wanna know who did get two of mine though? ...My "friend". Who wouldn't want a beautiful, sophisticated asian woman with long, luxurious dark locks and a slammin' bod? Love you, C!

In all seriousness, this was an interesting social experience I'm glad to have partaken in. But it won't be repeated.

Ever.