When you wish upon a star...

For a person who struggles memorizing the lyrics of most songs I hear, I am damn good with the Disney ones. It is hard to deny the brilliance of Alan Menken and company.

You name it, I know it...unless it's from one of the bad movies. You know which ones I'm talking about: Cinderalla II and the follow-up blockbuster Cinderalla III, among other such winners. Disney is all about money, we know, even at the sacrifice of the classics. I'm so looking forward to Snow White II: Dwarves' Revenge. I mean, she did nearly get them all killed and totally made them miss work for a few days to come to her rescue because lame Prince Charming couldn't do it alone. Diamonds aren't going to mine themselves now, are they?

He doesn't exist anyways, you know, "Prince Charming". A hearty thanks to Disney for providing false hopes and dreams to millions of young girls since 1937.

I'm sure I should feel embarrassed by my skill, but I just can't muster the emotion.

Plus, since Disney will one day rule the world, I'm cool with that. It means that there will be speakers on every street corner pumping out the melodious tunes we all know so well. Including the bad guy songs, which tended to be the coolest. Come on, you know you loved singing along with Scar and the Hyenas. Gaston marauding Belle vocally as she traipses through the village. And you know that whenever those cats said, "We are Siamese if you don't please..." ba-dum-bum-bum, you bobbed your head in time.

Don't lie. Walt is listening.

Humorous

I like that whenever I leave the house, I need only find a left shoe.

Now would be a great time in my life to have kept the unbroken/non-lost half of several pairs of my past.

I also sometimes feel like my right foot looks like a shod pony hoof. I used to read horse stories all the time when I was younger. I remember one of my show-and-tell's was my collection of stuffed animals, action figures, books and pictures. It was a bit ridiculous. Anyways, there was a pony in one of my stories who had injured her hoof and they wrapped it in this boot.

That's what it looks like to me.

Another funny? For me to walk around without my crutches requires boot on the right and tiptoes on the left so I can walk at the same height.

Imagine wearing one flat and one 3in. heel. Pretty funny. Pretty painful on the hips.

Misuse

Don't worry, I kicked Melancholy to the curb. Had no business hanging 'round here!

On to happier thoughts:

Have you ever wondered what the difference between a College and a University is? I did awhile back, so I wiki'd it. A college offers a collection of degrees for one specific area and a University is a collection of colleges. Logical in its simplicity, is it not? Sometimes I question whether I graduated from University or not. Sometimes I'm S-M-R-T...I mean, S-M-A-R-T.

How about the difference between jail and prison? A jail houses those awaiting trial who have yet to be convicted, more detaining them. It also holds those serving short sentences less than a year typically. A prison, however, is when you've been convicted of the crime and it's time to pay the...time. Whatever. Again, logical in its simplicity as well as to the learning slammed on us thanks to the overabundance of criminal shows on the telly such as the following: Criminal Minds, NCIS, CSI: Too many to care anymore, Law & Order: See previous quip after colon, Bones, NYPD Blue, Crossing Jordan...and the list goes on. But I won't.

And yes, I watch more than a few of the above.

Inspiration

Ever felt that something was missing? Say, motivation, maybe?

I determined the other night that what I am slowly losing is motivation...along with overall muscle mass.

It's a tad bit frustrating. Although, sometimes I think it's just because I'm not having to do five different things at the same time. Talking, laughing, working, thinking, walking around.

Also the cause for the muscle loss.

I think I miss that ability of mine, to multi-task. It's a bit hard to do several things at once when you're stuck off your feet with a TV in one room, book in another and your computer somewhere in between.

It's terrible not being able to carry or move anything with your hands because their too busy crutching you from place to place.

But it has given me an amazing perspective on life. I have so much respect for those who are reliant upon some foreign object to help them move, walk, feel alive.

I think this foot thing was a necessary evil to teach me to slow my roll. I need to learn not to be the Bionic Woman. Legitimately take time to smell the roses. Except, not roses, I don't really like them. Maybe more...oranges. Yeah, liquid sunshine...oranges.

Jugs

Dolly Rebecca Parton. Great name, Rebecca. That's two very impressive women I've found who share my name. Right. On.

Did you know she did a bluegrass version of Stairway to Heaven. Yeah, it's possible.

She is one impressive woman. One of the most decorated country music stars of all time. Dolly operates Dollywood, literacy programs, wildlife preservation efforts, and a production company among many, many, many other things.

And she's got a sense of humor. "It takes a lot of money to look this cheap." Hilarious.

Plus, she's in one of my all-time favorite movies, Steel Magnolias. Anyone who doesn't cry in that movie is dead inside.

I read her Wikipedia entry. It was mind-blowing how much this woman has accomplished since she was born in 1946. She's been married since she was 20 and was one of 12 kids. Her song Coat of Many Colors was autobiographical about how she grew up in poverty. She's business savvy and hard-working and beyond talented. She plays several instruments and composes and produces her own music.

Dolly Parton is a hero! To walk around like a living Barbie? Impressive, to say the very least. She's been nominated for two Academy Awards. One in 1980 (9 to 5) and in 2005 for the TransAmerica soundtrack (Travelin' Thru). A 25 year gap! By the way, good movie. Movies, I guess. 9 to 5 was surprising...in plot, acting, conclusion. Good ol' late 1970's women's lib' propaganda. Amazing how the Corporate world used to be like that. An entire floor of female secretaries completely looked over for promotions and respect. I like to think I'd be a fighter for that cause.

And did you know Dolly, the cloned sheep, was named after her? Here's why: the cell they used to clone the sheep with was a mammary gland. Ha. Yeah. Crazy, right?

Taxes

The Estate Tax Reform should be repealed.

I will agree, down the road when they change the legislation, that it makes sense for me to pay taxes on my earnings from my Roth IRA. Not on my principal though. That would be double taxation, neh?

Just saying.

Dream a little dream tonight

This is why I don’t like sleep-inducing meds:

The dream started with me walking down a hallway in a skyscraper in downtown Houston apparently headed toward the audit room with two other people who I’ve never seen before.

Quickly following, it was lunchtime and I met a friend in the building (but she doesn’t work in downtown) to walk to Bryant Park (yeah, that’s in New York) which was new and near my old high school because apparently now I was a senior in high school and an elite group from my class had transferred to this newfangled school because we were the cream of the crop. No, I don’t know how I was chosen. I graduated in the top 35…percent of my class of 700.

My friend and I leave the building and start walking in downtown Houston towards the park which has restaurants (because it’s lunch again and I’m back to being an auditor) and we are just trudging at a snail’s pace. The sky is slowly darkening as night falls (apparently my sense of time is now warped) and I realize I’ve left my purse and shoes in the bathroom back at work. I tell my friend to continue on without me and I start jogging back.

Okay, firstly, I would never, and I do mean never, walk barefoot in downtown anywhere. Makes me want to go wash my feet at this point in my dream (seriously, that’s what I was thinking in the dream). And secondly, I was wearing shoes as pointed out to me by a former (truly former) classmate from my alma mater. As I was jogging back I bumped into her pushing a stroller with an obscure head-brace on that was red. She never wore a head-brace in high school. She was on the softball team. We didn’t run in the same crowds and I wasn’t a fan…so of course she’s the one that ends up in the dream.

She apparently didn’t make the cut for the new high school (sucker). She asked where I was headed and I told her, “Lunch at Bryant Park,” to which she replied, “Oh, the new class. I didn’t make it in.”

At that I look down at the stroller and see it’s a little girl so I ask how old she is. The mother, I presume now that this classmate of mine is the mother because there had been a second, faceless girl with her who I knew not to be it, doesn’t answer me but the little girl does and says, “Three!” with a toothless grin.

I pull a crazyface at her and just start running again. But here’s the thing with my running abilities…they worked oddly. For me to start moving at all required me to slowly lean forward while raising one foot to lead off and waiting until suddenly I took off with a slow jog that quickly escalated to a run. For those visual people out there, to start running, think Jim Carrey as The Mask when he’s in the Copa club and finishes dancing with Cameron Diaz and the bad guys come after him he drops her and then lifts his leg, pausing, before then jetting off to get away. Then, after I would start running, I behaved almost as the Juggernaut with my momentum and Flash Gordon with my speed. Strange.

I finally made it back to the office after some headphones appeared in my ears and I was happily running to the music. Uphill. Up…hill(s). Plural. But it was still Houston. For those who may not know this, Houston and the surrounding several hundred miles in all directions have zero hills except for the man-made concrete overpasses. And those don’t count.

Once I got back up to my floor, which was oval in shape and had several hundred desks and obscurely hidden doors to conference rooms and was filled with too many people I conjured up out of thin air, I found my purse (no harm done) and looked down at my feet. This is what I was wearing the entire time: my black Converse sneakers with black slippers tied over them.

Now here’s the breakdown, because dreams are just manifestations of the thoughts that run through your brain in a given day. It’s how we process all the additional (and excess) information that overloads our brains while we sleep so we are refreshed and renewed, and sometimes a little freaked out, in the morning.

1) The new high school as a Senior – directly from a book I finished reading yesterday where one of the main characters does this.

2) New York is due to the fact that I’ve watched nearly half of the first season of 30 Rock in the last two days. It’s a great show.

3) The maze of people, desks and conference rooms was from watching a few episodes of Dead Like Me. Which, if you have not seen that show, I highly recommend it. Bryan Fuller is a genius when it comes to obscure approaches to death. He also created Pushing Daisies which was another brilliant show cut short of its full potential. (Think Firefly and Arrested Development)

4) My black converse sneakers are because that’s the current shoe sitting on my bedroom floor, only the left one (of course, though I had both on in the dream), which I wore to my doctor’s appointment last week and will again tomorrow (I get the wraps and bandaging off, what!). And the black slippers over them? Well that is because when I am cleared to return to work, the doctor says sneakers only for the first few weeks. Apparently my dreamself was trying to be creative and disguise said sneakers beneath oversized black slippers to make it look like proper business casual shoes. Silly, silly me.

You’d think with all the crazy things happening in that dream that more would have come from my memories or any of the television I watched. But no, I didn’t watch The Mask to get my running technique. The high school classmate hasn’t been a blip on my radar in 7 years (and that’s just fine by me)…but I did have an e-mail exchange (of about 30 emails+, they were trying to get me a Rascal) with my high school friends the other day. But still…

This is why I despise taking sleep-inducing medication of any kind. This was only my final dream of the night. I know for a fact (though I can’t remember any details) that I had several before that. And I do mean several…I tend to wake up about 3 times during the night currently thanks to the oversized boot on my foot and the uncomfortable positions I sleep in that I try to pretend are perfectly fine and don’t make my back or hips hurt. Lies. All lies.

It’s impossible.

Celebrations

Did you know that the first Mardi Gras celebration in America (well, what was to become, eventually, the USA) was held in Mobile? But it wasn't Alabama back then. It was French held territory and the capital of French Louisiana. Sidenote: Mardi Gras translates to Fat Tuesday.

Laissez les bons temps rouler! Let the good times roll.

As many of you know, and hear about very often if the topic of lunch comes up, I love Cajun food. I could eat it everyday.

Every...day. Bet that got pretty annoying.

"Ok, so what's for lunch today?"

"Cajun!"

"You always say Cajun."

"Yes. I do. And I will until you acquiesce to my request and join me for jambalaya and jalapeño cornbread!"

Damn skippy.

But I digress...back to Mardi Gras and its French Catholic heritage.

The first celebration on the North American continent was in 1703! We, as a nation, were barely a glimmer of thought in some very forward thinking (and maybe some clairvoyant) minds. It was nothing like it is today.

Once New Orleans became the capital of Louisiana (1718), the city slowly grew to be solely associated with the celebrations. It began with masks and extravagant balls that only the elite could attend, while slaves and the poor were left to celebrate however they could.

There's a bunch of mess about krewes and mystic societies, but to sum up...these are who ran the Mardi Gras parties, the organizations, the first parade's and all the floats. Secrets, secrets are no fun, unless you share with everyone! Hello! The city of New Orleans agreed with me in 1991 when they required these societies to open their doors to any and all. They were livid. Two of them didn't parade that year in retaliation. Federal courts eventually reversed the ruling and now the krewes generally operate as business structures and anyone who pays dues can get on a float.

For us Texans, we've had our own version of Mardi Gras down in Galveston since 1867. It was merely a masked ball coupled with a performance of King Henry IV at first. Now, it's a bit more like New Orleans is, very crazy and more than a bit out of control.

The colors of green, gold and purple on the Mardi Gras flag stand for faith, power and justice. This flag became part of the Mardi Gras celebration in the 1870's when a King and Queen were also crowned for the first time. The throwing of beads, trinkets, and doubloons began around the same time, too.

I've never been. I know those who have, I have the beads to prove it. Crowds aren't my cup of tea nor are the ridiculous number of breasts I would see. I know what they look like and thanks for sharing with the class.

But I do love everything else Cajun. The food, the zydeco music (who doesn't love the accordion), the culture (New Orleans is known as the "Big Easy" and all) and my family. My crazy, off-the-wall, set in their way Cajun relatives. C'est bon! It's a heritage I'm proud of and thankful for. It's nice to have a lineage with such a spirit as the Cajun people have.

The Next Generation

"Hey, Dad, do you wear aftershave?"

"Yeah. After I shave."

If you ever were curious where I learned how to give smartypants answers to questions, there ya go.

My mom walked into the living room carrying a rocking chair. She plopped it down and took a seat. I glanced at the fabric, noting a disturbingly vibrant green with spatters of floral and amoeba floating across it. I made a face.

"What, you don't like it? I got it for $25 at Goodwill."

"Why?"

"Because it was there. And so I could re-cover it to match our other one."

If you have ever been curious about my quirkyness and general unique approach to life and objects, here ya go.

I love both qualities and find it endlessly humorous when I see where I learned it all.

We truly are our parents' children. We carry on not only what they teach us purposefully but also that which we learn through osmosis. I find the latter much more entertaining, even the bad traits you may pick up, because it's carrying on the legacy of your father's snarky and clever responses to simple questions. It's seeing something unusual or different and finding humor or love for it just because it's there at this moment and in my life. It's my mother's optimism and my father's realism.

It's the creation of my future and it's fascinating.

Next time you're around your parents or think about them, pay attention to their little habits and quirks and then think about how many times you've made your coffee just like them, put the pantry in just the same order, or even sit or stand exactly the same. It's hilarious!

We are all mini-me's of our parents not only through genetics but through our behavior, too.

Revelation

I had two revelations this morning.

1) Because I am not stimulating my mental faculties from 8AM to 8PM daily nor am I in constant motion of some kind: singing, talking, laughing, walking, Starbucksing (yes, all done at work), I seem to only need 7 hours of sleep a night. Or less.

This led me to my second revelation.

2) This makes for a very...

very...

very long day.

Gone Postal

Inspired by my recent influx of snail mail, I did a little look-see into the United States Postal Service. It isn’t too fascinating, nothing riveting or spell-bounding. The only thing that anyone really recognizes about the USPS is how to “go postal.” Yeah, that old phrase. Coined in the mid-90’s due to several postal employees going on shooting spree’s at their respective workplaces. Very sad, but they have just as much likelihood of going mental as any other workplace. I don’t want to dog on my peeps. They deliver my snail mail I love so much.

On that note, I love snail mail. Can't say it enough. I’ve been a fan from day one. Walking home from school, driving home from work, seeing a pile of letters on the counter and noting that not all of them are bills is fun. It’s uplifting. It puts a smile on your face. As lame as some people may think postal mail is, you’re wrong. So wrong. And I’m right. And it really isn’t all that snail like for life occurrences that deserve a handwritten note. It may be 2 seconds to deliver an e-mail, but it’s only (roughly) 2 days to deliver a card! That’s a pretty fast snail, all things considered. Just saying.

I’ve gotten a slew of get well cards and notes and I appreciate all of them. It shows that someone took the time to handwrite me (and just me, no mass text or email with bcc:’s) a note with something personal to go with it: a story, news, a joke, anything. It’s a lost art, that of notewriting. My Grandmother’s penmanship is precise with its loops and curls whereas mine is scattered loops + a curl here and a block letter there. It’s all over the place and hers is in a straight line. It’s beautiful to see her script splayed out at the heart of a card. I know her hands touched it and now mine are. When I look at these letters 10, 20, 50 years down the line I’ll remember that feeling of receiving it, of opening it the first time.

Right, so the history of the USPS. It’s incarnation was in Philadelphia by Ben Franklin in the year 1775. Since then it was authorized in the Constitution when that came about, and reorganized a time or two until its final life as what you see today, an independent organization run separate from the Government. Sadly though, due to the plummet in usage of snail mail, they’ve gone into deficit and are struggling to stay above it all. Help them out? Check yes here.

Cool though: They have the largest civilian fleet of vehicles and employ the second largest group of civilians as well. Want to ponder a guess as to who beats them?

Nope, not the Federal Government (not considered civilians, eh?).

Try Walmart. Not all that surprising, right?

The USPS is obligated to serve all Americans no matter the geography. So when I move to Australia next year, guess who’ll be helping deliver my snail mail? Yeap, you get the idea.

And no, I’m not moving to Australia, though that would be awesome. Food for thought…

Addendum to 1607

I wanted to add a few things to my post about Virginia:

1) Virginia was named for the "Virgin" Queen Elizabeth. Hence why I find the slogan "Virginia is for lovers" humorous.

2) Where the presidents were born is how I'm placing them into categories by State where they hailed from. This is why even though Bush, the Father, and Bush, the Son, are so closely associated with Texas, they don't hail from here. Bush the First was born in Massachusetts and Bush the Second was born in Connecticut.

3) I had originally said that Mel Gibson played Patrick Henry in The Patriot. Not so. I took that out. His character was based on Francis Marion, or the “Swamp Fox”, a protagonist for you to cheer behind as he went about killing the redcoats.

4) By 1610, more than half the original settlers to Jamestown had perished when John Rolfe showed up. I’m currently watching a series called “America: The Story of Us.” Completely captivating, utterly fascinating, and I’ve only just finished the Revolution and Declaration of Independence from Britain.

Gotta keep my mind sharp, you see? Can’t have it go all mush on me like it did back in high school between the end of the school year and the beginning of hell week complete with two-a-days (for band nerds, yes, we called it that, too).

While I was sleeping...

Here are a few newsworthy items that I missed because I was a bit lackluster and slept 20 hours of every 24 hour stretch (exaggeration, but bear with me, it truly felt like I was disconnected from the modern world…and don’t get me started on my trippy dreams).

1) The oil cap didn’t work. Rats. I had high hopes for that one. I wonder how great of an idea it is to now use old shredded tires and golf ball trash. Instead of just having people throw that mess in the ocean without organization, they’ll have them come drop it off somewhere in the vicinity of the oil spill. Put those Duke Nukem’s and Hoggish Greedly’s powers to proper use. Where is Captain Planet when you need him most?

2) The DOW Jones dropped more than 1,000 points due to a clerical error. Who could have thought that with all this innovation and computerization of actions that something like this could occur? What a domino effect! That would have been exhilarating to watch all the talking heads just staring at the boards not being able to financially interpret what the heck just happened and who done it? It was a veritable Clues board with everyone a prime suspect from the trader to the traded. Glad it shifted itself out though, could have been a much bigger to-do if it hadn’t!

3) There’s a $1 trillion rescue fund being put into motion for struggling European Union countries. Let’s see what the long-running implications of that action will be. The Euro will gain strength against the dollar, no doubt. People around the world will hold more financial faith in the Euro and in the countries that were formerly failing due to overwhelming debt.

Pain

Recuperating is a full-time job.


Can I quit now?

1607

Did you know Virginia is for lovers? I find that ironic and funny considering how the state was named.

The state bird is the Cardinal of which there weren't that many. Texas has the Mockingbird and those beasts are everywhere! Therefore, subsequently, Texas deemed superior.

Fun facts:
1) 8 U.S. Presidents came from Virginia. Four of the first five, in fact. Granted, there weren't all that many states to hail from in the early days so this fact is skewed. Texas has two (Eisenhower and Johnson). But we aren't 400 years old, now are we?

2) The capitol is Richmond. It's hilly, and residential with cobblestone streets and a canal that used to run ships in and out and is now used as a tourist trip (it was not as grand as I anticipated, but the information was still fascinating). The capitol building itself looks like the White House to me.



3) Richmond was the "Capital of the South" for the Confederacy. The city was partially burned as retreating Confederate soldiers fled the city, setting it ablaze as they ran, after the surrender at Appomattox by Robert E. Lee on, survey says, April 9, 1865.

4) Patrick Henry gave his "Give me liberty or give me death" speech at St. John's church in the heart of downtown Richmond. His was the voice of the beginning of the American Revolution. Bold man.



5) In Richmond, there is a minor league Double A baseball team associated with the San Francisco Giants that goes by the moniker Flying Squirrels. I do not jest. The emblem emblazoned on their paraphernalia is that of said flying squirrel, but it's shaped so that if you get real imaginative and stretch your mind you can see the state of Virginia. Again, not kidding.

6) The first permanent settlement in the New World was Jamestown in 1607. They have reconstructed what the Fort and nearby Indian Village of the Powhatan tribe looked like and you can walk on replicas of the original ships bearing the first people to the settlement.



Question: Did you know it was not John White but rather John Rolfe who married Pocahontas? Her baptized Christian name was Rebecca (great name) and they were married in April 1614.

Despite Disney's best efforts (they worked so hard, I'm sure), the true story of Pocahontas is quite different from theirs (but good gracious the music is great). She probably did marry Kocoum (so there goes Just Around the Riverbend) and certainly saved John Smith's life when he was captured. But there was no love, no marriage between them and while she did eventually go to England to live (and die in her early 20's) it was as Rebecca Rolfe, not Pocahontas Smith as Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World would have you believe. And the music wasn't even any good in that one. Shame, shame Disney.

7) There's a university that spreads throughout the entire city with numerous campuses and buildings set far apart. It was actually pretty cool. Dorms on one street, History class on another, gym across the way...VCU was the city, it seemed.

8) There are two Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives in Richmond: The Village Cafe and Dot's Back Inn. Do it.





The visit was spectacular, the sights unique. It's thrilling to be in a place filled with so much history. I nerded out. You should too sometime.