Hott

Hi October, I see you inching closer to me. I'm really very friendly; take my proffered hand and lean in for a kiss.

Grammatacize: Part Deux

There are so very many grammatical things to learn in this world, I figured it won't hurt to add some more knowledge to our brains on the matter.

That being said, check out the following:

When to use i.e. versus e.g. when writing (thanks oatmeal)

i.e. is an abbreviated latin phrase meaning "that is" and is subsequently used for clarification purposes. Synonyms are "in essence" or "in other words". Keep in mind the "in other words" phrase because that will head you in the proper direction once you've started your sentence.

• I wanted to go for a run in the park, i.e. people watch.

e.g. is used in place of "for example". This one's much easier.

• When I go to the park, I like to people watch to see what they are like, e.g. crazy, hyper, or funny.

How about their, there, and they're? You feel comfortable with those? A lot of people think they are, but tend to still slip once in awhile. I still hesitate at times...it's inevitable. But it's an easy fix.

• Their - posessive. It is theirs, they own it.


• There - location. It is over there.


• They're - a contraction for "they are".


• Example: They're (They are) over there (location) by their (possessive, they own it) car.

Clear as mud? Try the next group on for size.

I have never known when to use affect versus effect so let's learn together courtesy of my new friend:

Affect means "to influence" someone or something.

• The humidity in Houston often affects my hair and subsequently makes me irritable.


• In this sentence, I would normally have used effect...lesson learned, B!

Effect translates easiest to "a result" due to something or someone affecting you. See how I threw that in there (location) to distinguish?

• The effect of humidity on my hair is disastrous, e.g. by creating a halo effect, wavy hair, and an uncontainable frizz.

Learning

I deal very poorly with bad drivers.

I need to work on this.

They really can't hear me when I'm talking to them.

And it's probably not a good idea to make gestures guiding them to their destination, be that the next lane over, across the freeway, or h-e-double hockey sticks.

I'm learning.

If they are a dinosaur behind the wheel, e.g. Sharptooth who can't reach the steering wheel, Sarah who can't reach the pedal, or Longneck who isn't using what his name implies, I should really just let them be. Eventually, they'll leave my general vicinity and I won't have to deal with them again.

At least until I see them in traffic the next day...then the next...and suddenly realize they are my neighbor.

Lesson learned.

Nutty

Nuts for You!

Nut King: Walnut
Nut Queen: Almond
Nut Prince: Cashew
Nut Princess: Pecan
Nut Jester: Brazil

Want a healthy snack with a real crunch? Grab a handful of this Court. All are good for you by providing healthy fats and minerals essential to a happy self.

I personally like to make the following:
Cashews + Dried Cranberries + Pecans = Delicious trail mix. Add Dark Chocolate Covered Almonds and look out world.

Nuts are a great way to stave off hunger for a bit. True story: I was quite hungry at 10AM this morning. I ate a handful of the King I had brought from home and it was 11:30AM before I realized I wasn't hungry anymore.

But then that got me thinking about lunch and then I got hungry again.

Success in the distraction though! Mental hunger is far more powerful than physical. True story.

Grammatacize

Let's be honest, I get pretty confused sometimes when I'm writing and I come to an a/an situation. Or a who/whom, etc. I've been meaning to look this up for awhile, so here goes.

A versus An:

Use A prior to all words beginning with consonants save the soft 'h'...like thus.

• I'm a nerd because I find joy in utilizing words appropriately.
• At the very least, I'm an honest nerd.

Use An prior to all words beginning with vowels...like 'zis.

• I'm an all-encompassing nerd.

Who versus Whom:

Use Who when you are asking or referring to the subject of the sentence:

• Who is going to the party tonight?: Check!
• Proof: To answer this question would you say he or him? He! This will make sense soon...

Use Whom when you are asking or referring to the object of the sentence:

• For whom is this party being thrown?
• Proof: To answer this question, you would say him, right? Notice how him ends in M? So does whom. If to answer a question you would say him then that means you should use whom. Get it? I thought that was quite clever. Not my cleverness, sadly, but greatly appreciated all the same!

To versus Too:

The easiest way to distinguish these two are as follows:

• Too should be used in the following situations: when emphasizing something in excess (That was way too obvious.) or when wanting to add something (He is coming to the party, too.)
• My trick for remembering the latter (about adding) is that if too is appropriate then it can be replaced with as well (He is coming to the party, as well.).
• I hear your question: Why don't you just say as well all the time? Because, I answer, that's irrelevant.

Who's versus Whose:

Use Who's when you are wanting to use a contraction.

• Who's going to the party tonight? (Earlier I used "Who is" = contractualized!)
• Can be "Who is" or "Who has"

Use Whose when you are talking about possession.

• Do you know whose car this is that I just hit? - A phrase that keeps floating around my office. Dear garage gods, please let it not be my car.

This concludes our lesson today on some of the basics. I realize half my sentences are improperly structured, I'm sure, based on some obscure rule or another. However, when it comes to that much detail, I will be leaving it up to my copy editor as he/she tears apart my future best-selling novel.

Paleontology

Dear Ross,

Well done on your first time directing. Run, Fatboy, Run was a fantastic movie. Clever shots, good scenes, great acting direction and choice of actors. You also got a great Cinematographer and Director of Photography. You build your Cabinet well...let's see some more from you.

Happily your newest fan,

Bex

Zomg

I just discovered the best chocolate dessert ever.

And I do mean that statement in its entirety.

The Chocolate Cake from Zydeco's on San Jacinto (downtown Houston).

Buy it. Take it home. Put it in the fridge. Eat it the next day.

The pudding frosting has slowly melded into the cake making it the consistency of a Tres Leches.

Win...epic win.

Take the blue pill

Let me preface this blog post by stating: I love the creative mind of Tim Burton. He brought some of my favorite movies into the world (Edward Scissorhands, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Beetlejuice) and doesn't seem content to stop now.

However, that being said, I was sorely disappointed with my viewing of Alice in Wonderland last night. Nearly heartbroken.

The story of Alice is incredibly skewed and odd and it's all no wonder seeing as the author was high on more than just life when he wrote it. I read the story and his other, Through the Looking Glass. Very mind-numbingly trippy, I must say.

I had heard that the movie was a letdown, was less than its potential, but it didn't stop me from wanting to see it. Some people just don't understand great things when they see them. I eagerly awaited my turn on Netflix as the status changed from Very Long Wait to Short Wait to, "Oh my gosh, it's in the mail!" I popped in the disc last night and settled in for what I desperately wished would be an amazing trip.

It wasn't.

1) It was visually very beautiful and stimulating. It was mostly shot green-screen with lots and lots of CGI characters and distorted features...interesting and complex, yes, but I wanted more than just that.

2) Alice (Mia Wasikowska) was entertaining but lacked in facial expressions.

3) Johnny Depp did a deliciously creepy Scottish accent, but it was hard to follow why he would suddenly speak with it and then revert to his lispy tenor. His madness was understated, except when he spoke in the accent and then he was just scary. I thought he did a brilliant job being weird...hence why I also loved him as Willy Wonka because he was fantastically off his rocker and gave the best sidelong looks and dark glances.

4) Anne Hathaway. Disaster. She flitted about with her hands and arms floating around her, up and down, up and down, and spoke with a twitter. Constantly. Never for a reason, never stopping, never ceasing. It was not relevant to the story at all. Which I was saddened by, because I usually like her in her roles. To a certain degree.

5) Scenes did not flow together well. The storyline jumped from place to place and person to person. Names of characters were suddenly known without ever having been introduced. It's almost as if this was a sequel and we should have already seen the first one prior to this.

Dearest Tim Burton,

I looked at your imdb.com listing and noted that you are working on two movies with potential: Maleficent and The Addams Family, though why you are working on the latter, when the 1991 version of this movie with Anjelica Huston and Christina Ricci is still a brilliant movie, doesn't make sense to me. Please redeem yourself from Alice.

I will say that the possible brilliance of Maleficent is currently limitless and will slowly unearth as the project progresses.

Devil

Why do buttons beg me to push them at inappropriate and highly consequential times?

Cars I want to own

Hello, Eleanor! Everything about her is just gorgeous.

Yes. That is what you think it is...ignore the psychotic man on the hood. I want to own the coolest car ever on TV. Maybe not ever...but close enough by my standards.

2007 Nissan Murano. No, I'm not a Longhorn, it's just a cool color.

Porsche Cayenne, any model will do.

Classic 1950's Ford pickup truck.

The original Batmobile from Batman Returns (1989).

And this very well might be the greatest altered and enhanced iconic car ever. Ever. The flux capacitor must be phenomenal to behold in action.

Bottle it

I just lit a candle, blowing out the match, watching as the delicious tendril of smoke wafted away from the tip. As I passed in its wake I smelled Christmas and campfires, cold days and mittens.

And I got very, very excited.

Vocabulary

Words we should be using in our conversations daily:

1. Taciturn – dour, stern, silent in expression and manner
a) Synonyms: reticent, uncommunicative
b) The elderly man was taciturn in his dealings with the supermarket clerk.


2. Modicum – a moderate or small amount
a) Synonyms: jot, crumb, scrap, smidgen
b) The taciturn man could not even have a modicum of fun while spending time with his grandchildren.


3. Recalcitrant – resisting authority or control, hard to deal with
a) Synonyms: resistant, rebellious, unruly
b) The recalcitrant teenager yelled for hours behind his locked bedroom door.


4. Subterfuge – a stratagem employed to evade a rule, escape a consequence, or hide something
a) Synonyms: deception, scheme, trick, dodge, ruse
b) The old man utilized subterfuge to thwart the paper route from missing his house.

My BFF B.F.

Dear Bryan Fuller,
You have created three shows that have all been cancelled prematurely. You would think that this would mean your shows are terrible, lacking in humor, drama, character development, or have terrible writing. But, forsooth, this is not the case! Your shows are brilliant, critically acclaimed, and unique.

Why, American viewing audiences, why must you be so cruel to what you don’t think you understand? Trust me, it’s easy to pick up. It’s clever and quick and beyond imaginative.

Thank you, Netflix, for being so amazing and recommending his third show to me, Wonderfalls. It’s pretty one-of-a-kind and ingenious and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed it thus far.

Recommendations for the happy souls out there who appreciate originality and visually beautiful shows: Pushing Daisies, Dead Like Me, Wonderfalls.

Frito Bandito

Did you know the Frito was born and raised in the great state of Texas?

I was watching a show on the Food Network called "Kid in a Candy Store" because they were featuring The Chocolate Bar at the location near campus and the one I frequented quite often due to this fact. On the show they highlighted this chocolate based, salty pretzel and frito snack (Texas Frito Brittle). It looks delicious and I never knew they served it there...which translates to a visit soon.

But what drew my attention was when the owner, Gilbert, stated that Frito's were created in Texas.

I was stunned.

I have loved the Frito for a very long time and have never known (nor put the clues together) that it was a Texas created treat. +1 point for Tejas.


The original recipe was bought by Elmer Doolin when he couldn't get enough of the fritatas served with his lunch in San Antonio, Texas. This was in 1932! He subsequently started the Frito Corporation and began production on the product which included only three ingredients: whole corn, corn oil and salt.


They've gone through several mascots and of course the one that sticks is the one that infuriated the most people, the Frito Bandito, due to the image used.

What? What's wrong with that??











An excellent recipe incorporating the gloriousness of Fritos? Frito pie. You know it, you love it, don't deny it.

My personal chili recipe:
*Saute 1/2 sweet yellow onion, chopped, until it becomes nearly translucent,
*Add 3 cloves of garlic chopped, saute for 45seconds.
*Add turkey meat (preferably 93/7) and cook thoroughly.
*Once the meat is nearly cooked through, begin adding spices:
-->Chili Powder (approx. 1T. to begin)
-->Cumin (approx. 2tsp. to begin)
-->Garlic Salt (I love garlic) (approx. 1tsp. to begin)
-->Salt (palmful to begin)
*After you've incorporated these spices into the meat, add the following:
-->1 can of sweet corn (drained)
-->1 can of black beans (drained)
-->1 can Hunt's tomato sauce
-->1 can Hunt's tomato paste mixed with 1/2 can of water (it'll be easier to mix if you add the water first)
*Stir all this together and let simmer for 15 minutes over low heat to make sure the beans and corn are cooked and have begun to take on the flavors of the chili.
*Pull out a small spoon after the time has elapsed and taste. Add additional chili powder, cumin, garlic salt and salt as necessary. More chili powder and cumin = more kick. Cumin will give it a nice smoky flavor but can quickly go overboard and overpower the meal.

Enjoy! Plus, this freezes well in small, single-serving containers for lunches at work. Take it out of the freezer the night before and put it into the refrigerator for work the next day. Come lunchtime, it will be defrosted and just right to give you a great feeling of satisfaction, not only by filling you up but knowing that you saved a bit of money by making it yourself.

This just in...

Juanes will be added to Rock Band in all his Colombian glory.

This is going to be spectacular.

Jackie's gonna be a football star

Small town, America. Pop. 1890 Census
Traffic: 2 cars at a stoplight with too polite drivers

I had a great time. Truly, I did. Small doses of small town air are just what a doctor should order for everyone. Relaxing, refreshing, enjoyable, and the people? One of a kind.

Daily specials on the board outside. Right across from the Courthouse.

Be wary. Some places only take cash or check. I love the disconnection.

I had my fun, spent quality time with the past and made some memories to last my, and my Grandmother's, lifetime. Plus, I certainly found it amusing when I had a conversation with myself in fifty years, Jean.

Dear Jean, I hope I can be just as quick and clever, crass and sweet as you when I'm living the twilight of my life.